How the magic of bobinsana found me

(Photo: Me, vibrant and light, 9 years ago after my first diet in Peru.)

It's been almost 9 years ago, that I met this gorgeous plant, bobinsana. And I can say that "She found me."

I'd arrived at a medicine retreat center outside Tarapoto, Peru to teach yoga. The invitation to do a traditional plant dieta appeared, and I found myself saying yes. I was unprepared and had no idea what to expect. But I felt something calling me.

For 7 days, I drank 3 times/day a concoction that tasted like the jungle herself-  rich, bitter & earthy, but filled with vibrancy, aliveness, & magic.

I started to notice what felt like an infusion of the spirit of water in my body. Fluid energy moved in my tissues and in between my cells. I became buoyant & filled with a lightness that soothed everything.

I shifted into a deep melancholy and grief. I felt like I was being held under water, like I couldn't quite come up for a proper gasp of air, but I had just enough to keep on swimming. My everyday awareness slipped away, and I was in the fluid world of emotions & energy. 

My dreams were alive, vivid and very palpable. I felt the spirit of bobinsana looking after me, guiding me on a journey into a place I didn't know, with her incredible love & care.

I learned to surrender and let go. The ocean of emotions below the surface of my consciousness - those that had been buried since childhood or were connected to things beyond my reach - arose with gentleness and ease. All ready to be washed away.

I entered a world that was tender and necessary. It felt like it had been waiting for me. All the while, feeling the infinite love and mysterious presence of a plant.  One who was teaching me about love, compassion, & empathy, so that I could return to who I truly was.

One afternoon, I remember lying on a huge rock in the middle of the river under the jungle canopy. Everything in my awareness turned into the flowing river. My awareness WAS the water - my mind, my body, all became one with the rushing water beneath me.

It felt deeply cleansing, and the question arose - where did "I" go? The "I" that I'd known disappeared. I felt at a deep sense of peace, of surrender, of loving comfort. Whatever was happening, it was perfect and right on time.

My grief was turning into a profound love for everything. The pure joy of being alive, the healing of the jungle, the wisdom of the plants, the magnificence of the universe.

My heart was opening to receive the magic all around. I was returning to love as a state of being. A returning to a home that I'd forgotten. 

The gifts of bobinsana are plenty. I'm forever grateful for this meeting, and how she continues to support and hold me, pointing me back to the clarity of my heart.

If you feel called to meet bobinsana, I have a small women's group starting February 8.  We will open a sacred container to meet her and experience her healing magic in our everyday lives. Read more HERE, and reach out soon, as the group is almost full!