Alive + Free (Personal Adventures of Waking Up) ψ

Just around New Years, 6 years ago, I made a last minute decision to travel to India...𝗦𝗢𝗟𝗢. I'd just come out of more than a solid year in the Peruvian jungle. I'd ended a traditional dieta with an Amazonian tree from 𝘭𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘢 𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘢 - called bechuja  - just barely a few weeks earlier. As with most dietas, my time with bechuja was life-changing in all dimensions.

Maheshwar, India. (Feb. 2016)

The extremely sensitive being that I am, in this dieta, I finally felt the truth of my own essence and my own energy field. Bechuja brought a powerful protection, and taught me how to filter out the rest of the world. Something I don't know if I ever had known how to do before. I remember sitting in the middle of the last ayahuasca ceremony of the dieta, around the flame of a candle and had the profound realization that I felt absolutely no-one else's energy, though many sat around me. The new 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗢𝗠 I felt had me in tears. What I was feeling - was literally JUST ME, and it was beautiful. Bechuja was gifting me with a pathway to hold my own boundary and protection. I could finally be me in a world of infinite energies. A precious precious gift of not processing any and everything around me.

Bechuja dieta, Amazon. (Dec. 2015)

Bechuja, in the Amazon

In this dieta, India came to me in her mysterious way through the channel of the plants. I'd always wanted to go to India, but the Peruvian jungle kept pulling me back. In one ceremony during this dieta, a being blasted through on a horse, with a sword, shedding light and slashing through a prior experience of jungle brujeria. I asked who this being on the horse was, and I heard "Ishvara." I knew almost nothing of Hinduism, but later came to understand that in the most basic explanation - Ishvara is God, Supreme Ruler, Lord Shiva.

We had a daytime ceremony a few days later, which is one of my favorite ways to experience the plants in the jungle. It was larger than usual - 40+ people -but had incredibly magical energy abound long before we began. At some point during the ceremony, a Hindu diety appeared (I was not and am still not very familiar with the Hindu tradition, yet I recognized it as so, and later determined he was most likely Shiva). The best way to describe what happened, was an infusion, or transmission of a state of consciousness. Although I was still in the jungle, I was no longer part of the subtle shamanic realms, but rather in what I will call an awake awareness, a stillness of being - pure, pristine and beyond. All around me the jungle pulsed, the curandero sang, and the other people journeyed, but I was somewhere else entirely.

A few weeks later, I bought a ticket for India. The first picture (above) I took on my 35th birthday, at the Ahilya Fort in Maheshwar. Still fresh, barely a month in India, I'd had some of the most powerful lessons of boundaries, protection, and being a solo woman navigating through the chaos of India. I intuitively and courageously followed the path that seemed to open up before me - filled with Shiva temples, where I'd sit in meditation, easily transported to the pristine state of consciousness I'd encountered in the Amazonian jungle. I'd just arrived in Maheshwar from Omkareshwar, which was one of the more sacred Shiva temples in India, on an island in the middle of the Narmada River.

In Omkareshwar, there were tens of thousands of Indian pilgrims there with me - many of them not so spiritually inclined, as reflected in their behavior. It was a trying and intense time, one I've written about previously. Being the only Westerner, and a woman (save one I saw in the busy streets one day), I was on a ride. Trust, faith, boundaries, and protection, were all put to the test. With Bechuja and Shiva by my side.

Shiva. Omkareshwar, India. (Feb. 2016)

On the Narmada River, Omkareshwar. (Feb. 2016)

After I'd had enough of the mayhem, and had felt complete at the temple, I moved on to Maheshwar. Only to discover that the one solo woman traveler I'd seen in the streets of Omkareshwar, was thankfully staying in the hotel room next to mine. A discreet, sharp Italian girl, who was also traveling solo through India, following in her dead fathers footsteps from his journey decades ago. We were immediate friends.

Ahilya Fort. Maheshwar, India. (Feb. 2016).

Ahilya Fort. Maheshwar, India. (Feb. 2016).

In Maheshwar, there was a buzz too, but it's energy was more peaceful with a mix of something mystical that I couldn't quite name. On the Narmada River, they were just beginning the Sacred River Festival in the gorgeous old Ahilya Fort. Filled with traditional music (the sitar alone was enough to satisfy my soul) and dance, decorated with flowers and oil lamps. It was a side of India that I had not yet seen. One that told of an ancient rich culture still alive deep within Mother India. And it seemed somehow to magically appear just in time for my birthday. Ahilya was the home of Ahilyabai, a QUEEN - a rarity - who was respected as she took good care of her realm centuries ago. Later I learned she was the one who  rebuilt one of the most famous Shiva temples - Kashi Visgwanath - in Varanasi. I intuitively followed the trail and arrived there a few weeks later, during Shivaratri, where 100,000 pilgrims gathered (which is another story for another time.)

Maheshwar, India. (Feb. 2016)

Narmada River, India. (Feb. 2016)

On my birthday, I soared. I was 𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 and 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 in ways I'd never felt before. The Italian girl surprised me with candles, a cake and a birthday gift (a rudraksha I still have). A man we had befriended from Turkey convinced me to have a birthday dip in the Narmada River (although probably not really recommended for public health reasons!).

After being put to the test in the days before, Maheshwar nourished my soul and reminded me that I am always 𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 and 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘, no matter what is happening around me. Just like in the jungle with bechuja, I had navigated through it all to unveil a part of my precious true essence. The external jungle of India around me couldn't touch this deepest part of me. I was protected, 𝗘𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬. And it was the heart and soul of both the Amazon and Mother India herself, who were strengthening and fortifying my essence, my truth, and my existence.

ψ

For those spiritually adventurous souls!
New Year 2022: For Your Journey, is to help you find your own truth, follow your own path where ever it may take you and live fully 𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 and 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘. In the month of January, I have available limited 30 and 60 minute sessions (Tarot Readings, Energy Clearing and Plant Medicine Integration + Mentoring). Book one HERE!

ψ 𝗢𝗺 𝗡𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗵 𝗦𝗵𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘆𝗮 ψ