Taking Responsibility for My / Our Decisions + Choices

Gaia (1989). By Alex Grey.

𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝘆 / 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 + 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀

I just spent a few weeks in the Amazon, in dieta, deep in connection with several trees. These trees, with their potent medicine, were teaching me about the power of my decisions and choices, and how to direct my energy and resources towards a larger vision.

It starts with my internal life - my thoughts, emotions, behaviors and choices. Giving up the old, outdated, well-worn patterns to create something more life giving and life fulfilling. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸; 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲. In each and every moment, I have the possibility of making the shift. It emanates out into my relationships with people. Not only in how I show up in relationship, but also choosing who do I want to spend time and energy with; what types of relationships are nourishing; what communication and interaction styles are acceptable.

What do I have to give up in order to lead the life I choose? Am I willing to give up the old emotional patterns, the comfortable distractions, the not believing in myself, and the tired relationship patterns? If so, it requires a discipline and commitment to make the changes.

These Amazonian trees, in their formidable strength reminded me of the importance of my decisions and my actions. Teaching me to reclaim my personal power in all the seemingly smallest ways.

"𝗜 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗼."

I have to take responsibility for all of my choices. Going after what I believe in, requires taking a stand, with conviction for what I know in my 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧 is truth -  and that is 𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗘 𝗣𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥.

And yes, there is a delicate and beautiful balance of surrendering into the mystery, and having conviction. Direction in life is co-created. And there are sacrifices that will need to be made. Once the vision is clear, the job is to tend to and protect it, and to learn how to channel energy and resources to serve it.

I get to decide (to the extent of co-creativity) where to go on the river of life. No one else says how my life goes. I will not give my power away to the corporations, the government, the culture, the community, family or friends... Each decision, I consider the consequences to make a choice. This goes for consideration of how it impacts our Earth, future generations, and our communities.

The impacts on the larger view are not so easy to see. How our decisions impact the Earth - my home, 𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘 - is something our world is struggling to understand. I worked for 10+ years in the environmental field, attempting to make a difference in the protection and care for all of it's natural beauty, diversity and life-giving resources. Working for non-profits, corporations, and regulatory agencies, I found what was most often missing was the 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧 connection to the Earth. It wasn't completely non-existent, but almost all the work was entirely removed from being in intimate relationship with the Earth, her rhythms, her power and her as Mother. It was reduced to numbers, money, regulations, and how much we humans can get away with.

Many people do not know how our little everyday decisions impact everything else on the planet. Having studied these things for years, I often know too much. So much , that in my 20s, I went into overwhelm, feeling a lot of grief and despair. Every choice had dire consequences - harming and polluting the ecosystem, contributing to the mistreatment of animals, or the inequality of humans. In many ways, a part of me gave up, feeling so small and insignificant. So I shifted to focus on the heart connection. From the 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧, I feel that we can more easily make decisions that honor and respect the entire planet.

But we have to get sober, learn the facts, and live up to the truth. It's not comfortable, or easy. Taking a stand for what we believe in, even if it goes against the grain, is not a popular place to be. Having awareness is a responsibility. A responsibility to embody it, and live it. 

No one is making decisions and choices perfectly. We aim to do the best we can. Let's start with simple shifts in our decisions and choices. And the let the shifts emanate out into the world, in our communities, our businesses, and our systems. We are not separate from this Earth we live on, and everything we do has an impact interwoven with all things.

I choose my vision, I choose my heart, and I accept the path before me.